Rant and Rave: Complainers, complaints and “complainees”

“To hear complaints with patience, even when complaints are vain, is one of the duties of friendship.” Ben Johnson.

Complaints. We know them. We hear them. We spout them. Yesterday I heard them all day long! It must have just been one of those days. Gripes, groaning, bitching, negativity moaning from everyone was the rule of the day. It permeated my environment, from little whining child up to old enough to know better grandmothers, everyone has something to complain about. By days end, I returned home exhausted and in need of hot tea, a cozy comforter and solitude.

Old Ben Johnson above says that it’s our duty to hear complaints. We are to be a shoulder to cry on, a willing vessel waiting to hold all the garbage of the world. I mean, if my best friend’s hairdresser ruined her hair, I need to listen and commiserate. And if my hairdresser got gypped by the bank, I should nod my head in appropriate sympathy. If my children call complaining that their spouse isn’t helping with the housework or my neighbor is upset over the dog who rummaged in the garbage can, it’s my duty to hear them with patience. Right?

What I wanted to do yesterday was to say, oh for God’s sake, shut up! If we really care about someone, why would we want to foist our gripes and groans about the garbage onto their backs? It’s time to get a grip on complaining, folks. Take a few minutes today to really focus on what people around you are saying.

I bet half of the conversations you hear today, will be filled with complaints about something. The weather, the economy, the President, their neighbors, wife, children, ….on and on and on. It’s as thought we are not clever enough to have any conversation unless it’s based on what’s wrong with someone or something.

I’m not saying, that we should all just suppress our every negative thought. I’m not a big fan of suppression of anything-it didn’t work out to well for the Victorians. But the petty stuff we’re often ranting about just doesn’t seem to be worth the breath it takes to spew it out. Can we just save our complaints for the important stuff? You know, like , well..like…hmm..I’m sure there something important we should complain about. Maybe..

I do think rant and rave is necessary occasionally. I mean, the crap does pile up. So, instead of never ending gripes and moans, how about a ten minute once a week Rant and Rave.  Be creative with your rants. Warn others around you that you’re ranting right now and it won’t last long. Ask their forgiveness ahead of time. You know..like, “Hey, I just need to let off some steam. Don’t mind me. Don’t pay any attention. Don’t think you have to fix it, or help me. I’m just fed up and need to scream. Then do it. Run amok!  Write a hateful letter full of curse words and then tear it up. Say the meanest things you can come up with about your awful sister in law, but not to her, to the dog!

Who knows, if you’re funny enough and loud enough, you just might end up on the stage as a late night comedian. Or..writing an article for Associated Content bitching and moaning about bitching and moaning.      My, I feel much better already!  I think I can tackle that tender topic of how to construct a Christmas wreath.

Of course, we can also look at complaining like Audre Lourde did. “I realize that if I wait until I am no longer afraid to act, write, speak, be, I’ll be sending messages on a Ouija board, cryptic complaints from the other side”    I like that idea  too, for all those people we didn’t want to yell at when we were alive.

I’m making a list.